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Triggered by a glare?

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Complete transcript: Triggered by a glare?

Some of you have gotten the glare. This is when people stare at you like they're looking right through you. People who use this stare are trying to control you through intimidation. If you've ever gotten it, it can leave you feeling really confused and small. And it can send your nervous system directly into fight or flight. The person giving this glare is in a really primal state where they feel threatened; this is why their face physically changes or their eyes go dark.

Their nervous system is in a sympathetic response, and they go into a highly focused, intense, and predatory glare. They're testing your boundaries and trying to see how you're going to react. They're wondering, "Can I get this person to do what I want them to do"? And what they want from you is some kind of emotional reaction, like fear, getting upset, or asking if they're mad." First, stay emotionally neutral. People who do this feed off of your emotional reactions, so stay fully composed and show no signs that this is giving them emotional bait.

Next, you're going to calmly say, "I notice you're looking at me like that. Is there something you want to say?" This puts a responsibility on them to communicate and removes their ability to give you the silent treatment, and if they continue using the glare, you're going to say, "I'm not interested in this kind of interaction." And then you're going to remove yourself from a boundary around this; it's not about controlling someone or even getting them to stop this behavior, it's about you letting them know that you're not going to give them an emotional charge. And that you don't accept this interaction, this will teach them that you're not a person who submits to this type of control.

#toxicrelationship #toxicrelationships #behavior #emotionalhealing #boundaries
Category
Spiritual
Tags
Dr. Nicole, The SelfHealers Circle, How to be the love you seek
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