Keys To Communication in a Relationship | Tony Robbins

How do you communicate in your relationship? How does your partner communicate? The answer is probably very different. That’s because every single person responds to a different communication style. To create a happy, long-lasting partnership, you and your significant other don’t need to have the same style, but you need to understand one another’s.

The key to quality communication in relationships is knowing which style your partner responds to. Do they use touch, words, visuals, gift-giving or another type of communication to express themselves? How does your communication style match up with theirs?

It’s imperative to know how to communicate effectively in a relationship, because otherwise, you can lose intimacy or lose trust in each other. The key is to earn how to communicate with your partner and to truly listen when they are trying to express themselves.

Put aside time specifically to listen to them – whether it’s about something small, like how their day was, or something serious, like a family problem, they need to know that you’re there for them 100%.

Are you so frustrated with the current state of your relationship that you don’t want to listen? If you give up on trying to communicate effectively with your partner, you might as well call it quits now. Your relationship will never deepen unless you’re both able to express your innermost thoughts and feelings. When you argue, remember that it’s not about who’s right or wrong, it’s about feeling heard by the person who loves you. It’s about expressing what’s on your mind without bringing pain to your partner.

When you feel tempted to give up on communication, choosing instead to fall back on bad habits like the silent treatment, picking a fight or storming off, take a moment. Breathe deeply. Think about what attracted you to your partner in the first place. Was it their sense of spontaneity? Do they find the best in every situation? Connect to that initial attraction and ask yourself how you would have behaved when you started dating. Chances are, you wouldn’t have made a scene or acted childishly, you would have stopped to hear your partner out.

Say what you mean and give your partner a chance to do the same. Remember that both of you are people who want to be heard and share a deep love and sense of joy with the person who matters most.

How will you improve communication with your partner? Discover what communication style appeals to each of you, and consciously work on making sure they feel heard and appreciated. With some time and practice, your communication will improve, and your relationship will reach a new level of intimacy.


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Tony Robbins is a #1 New York Times best-selling author, entrepreneur, and philanthropist. For more than 37 years, millions of people have enjoyed the warmth, humor and dynamic presentation of Mr. Robbins' corporate and personal development events. As the nation's #1 life and business strategist, he¹s called upon to consult and coach some of the world¹s finest athletes, entertainers, Fortune 500 CEOs, and even presidents of nations.