Why you need constant reassurance from your partner: understanding and overcoming insecurity

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Complete transcript: Why You Need Constant Reassurance from Your Partner: Understanding and Overcoming Insecurity

Person 1: I just need constant reassurance from my partner. And I can tell it's getting really annoying.
Therapist: When do you feel you need it most?
Person 1: Anytime they're not around. Or when they're quiet or taking their own space. I don't know I just yet this feeling like something is wrong.
Therapist: Well, when you grow up with parents who withhold love to make love very conditional, where you need to perform to get their love, you can grow up having the fear of abandonment. That gets triggered anytime someone needs to withdraw from you. This is why it's so important to practice self-soothing. Our partners might have long days away or just need their own space. And this doesn't mean that they're going to leave or that they're mad at us. And when we give them this space, it shows that we consider them and trust in our bond. The truth is when we have abandonment wounding, no amount of reassurance will actually change the way we feel. It's up to us to teach ourselves to feel safe when a person is away from us. And to remind yourself that distance doesn't mean rejection.