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Complete transcript:
How to deal with a guilt trip and set a boundary
Mom: Your father is so upset with you.
Adult Child: Yeah I know he's giving me the silent treatment again.
Mom: (this is triangulation: sending someone a message through someone else)
You need to apologize. He's been going through the house in the worst mood.
Adult Child: I'm an adult now, so I'm not gonna apologize or accept getting the silent treatment like I had to growing up. Dad's issue is that he can't communicate, and he uses you to get his message across.
Mom: Honey like I said can't you just make my life easier and just say you're sorry?
Adult Child: I can't if dad has an issue. (this is setting a boundary: "If dad has an issue, I'll talk to him directly." I'd be happy to talk with him directly. This is between him and I, so I want the conversations to be between him and I.
Mom: (this is pushback to a boundary/guilt-tripping). Honey, please do it for me.
Adult Child: (this is holding a boundary. remain calm, don't over-explain or bargain)
Dad can call me anytime needs to chat, and I appreciate you respecting that)
Order my new book: https://howtobetheloveyouseek.com/
Get my FREE Relationship Future Self Journal: https://theholisticpsychologist.com/relationship-future-self-journal/
Find me on Instagram: @the.holistic.psychologist
Complete transcript:
How to deal with a guilt trip and set a boundary
Mom: Your father is so upset with you.
Adult Child: Yeah I know he's giving me the silent treatment again.
Mom: (this is triangulation: sending someone a message through someone else)
You need to apologize. He's been going through the house in the worst mood.
Adult Child: I'm an adult now, so I'm not gonna apologize or accept getting the silent treatment like I had to growing up. Dad's issue is that he can't communicate, and he uses you to get his message across.
Mom: Honey like I said can't you just make my life easier and just say you're sorry?
Adult Child: I can't if dad has an issue. (this is setting a boundary: "If dad has an issue, I'll talk to him directly." I'd be happy to talk with him directly. This is between him and I, so I want the conversations to be between him and I.
Mom: (this is pushback to a boundary/guilt-tripping). Honey, please do it for me.
Adult Child: (this is holding a boundary. remain calm, don't over-explain or bargain)
Dad can call me anytime needs to chat, and I appreciate you respecting that)
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- Spiritual
- Tags
- The Holistic Psychologist, Dr. Nicole Lepera
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