What it means when you're told "you were a difficult child"

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Complete transcript: What it means when you're told "you were a difficult child"

Person: You always told me I was a difficult child and how easy my brother was.

Mom: He was easy. Meaning he was really tolerant of many of my toxic behaviors growing up. And you would directly talk about them, which made me feel really ashamed. I wasn't mature enough to understand that that was my own shame coming up. Instead, I thought you were causing me to feel shame.

Person: Okay, well it was really hurtful and it caused a lot of fights between him and I. It felt like we were competing for your love.

Mom: Oh, you were. The thing is my own wounding made me seek chronic validation from my children. Your brother always took my side and told me what a great mother I was. You were more challenging for me. Instead of looking at as an opportunity to grow and heal different parts of myself, I just felt threatened by you really. I wish I could have told you that you were strong-willed and wise. But, I just called you difficult because I couldn't cope.