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Complete transcript: Feeling smothered in a relationship
Person: My partner's smothering me
Therapist: Okay, how so?
Person: he texts me a lot and when I get home from work, he talks right away. I don't get any time to just relax. When I take time for me, he's always asking when I'll be back and telling me he loves me.
(this is a sign of anxious attachment)
I know it sounds mean, but his clinginess is a turn-off.
Therapist: Have you talked to him about it?
Person: Yeah, I tell him I need space at times and then he gets sulky, and then I feel guilty
Therapist: The best way to tell a partner that you need space is to reassure them first. Let them know that you love them and that the relationship is a priority for you. And that you also need space to do the things that make you, you. You can let him know that when you get home from work, you'll need some quiet time alone in your room to adjust to being home. And that you'll be out as soon as you decompress.
Person: but what if he gets sulky?
Therapist: He might, but it's important for him to understand that everyone has different needs in a relationship. Needing space is healthy, and if he's reassured first, he might give you the space that you need. If he guilts you and sulks because you need that space, then it's something deeper, like his own abandonment wound issues are coming up, and that's for him to manage not you.
Order my new book: https://howtobetheloveyouseek.com
Get my FREE Relationship Future Self Journal: https://theholisticpsychologist.com/relationship-future-self-journal
Find me on Instagram: @the.holistic.psychologist
Complete transcript: Feeling smothered in a relationship
Person: My partner's smothering me
Therapist: Okay, how so?
Person: he texts me a lot and when I get home from work, he talks right away. I don't get any time to just relax. When I take time for me, he's always asking when I'll be back and telling me he loves me.
(this is a sign of anxious attachment)
I know it sounds mean, but his clinginess is a turn-off.
Therapist: Have you talked to him about it?
Person: Yeah, I tell him I need space at times and then he gets sulky, and then I feel guilty
Therapist: The best way to tell a partner that you need space is to reassure them first. Let them know that you love them and that the relationship is a priority for you. And that you also need space to do the things that make you, you. You can let him know that when you get home from work, you'll need some quiet time alone in your room to adjust to being home. And that you'll be out as soon as you decompress.
Person: but what if he gets sulky?
Therapist: He might, but it's important for him to understand that everyone has different needs in a relationship. Needing space is healthy, and if he's reassured first, he might give you the space that you need. If he guilts you and sulks because you need that space, then it's something deeper, like his own abandonment wound issues are coming up, and that's for him to manage not you.
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- Spiritual
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- The Holistic Psychologist, Dr. Nicole Lepera
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