How to heal from emotionally immature parents

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Complete Transcript: How to heal from emotionally immature parents

Therapist: If you feel guilty a lot of the time for seemingly no reason, you might have been raised by emotionally immature parents. Emotionally immature parents haven't actually learned how to take care of themselves, so they have a subconscious desire that their children meet their needs.

They teach them early to focus on their needs at all times. In childhood this usually looks like oversharing, talking about marital problems or problems at work. Or really anything else that puts the parent in a space to receive sympathy.

Because they lack emotional maturity, they can't understand that oh this child is 7 years old, this isn't something that they can understand or support me with. I need to got to a peer because again their subconscious belief is that their children are to be their caretakers.

So the adult child of an emotionally immature parent feels so much guilt about what their parents have gone through in the past. And about what they're dealing with now. Even if their parent hasn't changed any of their habits or their behaviors.

It's just this heaviness that they feel because they've been conditioned to be a parent pleaser from such a young age. And they truly believe that their role is to parent their parents.