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Love doesn’t require fantasy

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Complete transcript: Love doesn’t require fantasy

Grew up in a home where your parent figures were inconsistent or emotionally absent? You spent your childhood wishing that they would finally see you and love you in the way that you needed to be loved. This is why so many people spent their childhoods fantasizing about joining families on TV. Daydreaming or obsessing over celebrity crushes. This is our subconscious mind's way of dealing with this pain. Because we're not being loved in a healthy way, we turn to this fantasy world in our minds. This becomes our familiar place or where we feel most comfortable.

As an adult, you'll always be attracted to dynamics where you're in this fantasy world. Dynamics where you're not being chosen and you're not actually being loved well. So your work is to be aware that you elevate people who don't love you well, just like you did with your parent figures, to survive. And to also be aware that you devalue people who are direct, secure, and don't leave you guessing, because your nervous system registers them as boring. Your current version of love requires you to fantasize and imagine. And your work is to start to accept secure love that doesn't require any fantasy or daydreaming.

#relationship #attachmentstyles #love #healing #selfimprovement


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Category
Spiritual
Tags
Dr. Nicole, The SelfHealers Circle, How to be the love you seek
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