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What is anxious attachment? Let’s break it down

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complete transcript: What Is Anxious Attachment? Let’s Break It Down

Holistic psychologist: here's what someone who is anxiously attached wants you to know. Growing up love was given to me and it was also taken away from me. And that was confusing, and made me feel like I had to walk on eggshells. One parent sent the entire mood of the home. So I had to notice every change in their mood or tone.

And now I do that to you. I ask if everything okay, I ask if you're mad at me, I create meaning around every action you do, and that meaning is usually negative because I just can't trust you to show up for me. Sometimes I test you to make sure you can handle me. When I do this I think that I'm protecting myself, but really I'm sabotaging the relationship, and making it even harder to get the connection I need.

If you need space or quiet, my nervous system goes into fight or flight. There was usually quiet before eruptions growing up. So I learned that space for quiet is not only a bad thing, It meant that I was in danger. I push you away but all I actually want is to be loved. I love extremely hard and I'm incredibly sensitive and sentimental. In my entire life, I've always felt that no one has reciprocated how much love I give.
Category
Spiritual
Tags
Dr. Nicole, The SelfHealers Circle, How to be the love you seek
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