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Inside the mind of anxious attachment

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Complete transcript: Inside the mind of anxious attachment

I really like you, I really like you too. So, what are you looking for in a committed relationship? Oh okay. Why, what are you looking for? You know something casual, I just want to take it slow. Oh right. Yeah, I get that definitely. Let's take it slow. Are you sure? You don't sound so sure. I'm not totally sure. But this is my pattern. I really fear losing any relationship or connection. So even though I want something different than you, I'll just say I don't. That way, I don't risk losing you.

But you're going to develop a lot of feelings. Then, probably resentment because your actual needs aren't being met. I know I will. And when I develop feelings, I'll just hope that you change your mind. That I'll finally be chosen and feel good about myself. See, your validation is how I get my self-worth. It doesn't sound good, it's not fully honest. And you or both of us are going to end up getting hurt by this situation. I know, but I've learned since childhood that true love is about yearning and pain, not authentic connection.

All right, well, I think that this isn't going to turn into anything serious. And I feel like I should just let you know. And if you're not okay with that, then we can just be friends. Like I said, no way I'm calling this off, Abandonment wounds. Don't you think that we should just both find people who have the same needs and are looking for the same things? Probably, but I'm ready to play my usual role of cool girl, where I suppress everything I'm really thinking and feeling so that I can become who you want me to be. I'm gonna betray myself again until I start to understand that my attachment style has me attracted to people who trigger my core childhood wounds. So I can finally heal them and have enough self-respect to leave situations where my needs are being ignored.

#anxiousattachment #attachment #relationship #attachmentstyles #emotionalhealing
Category
Spiritual
Tags
Dr. Nicole, The SelfHealers Circle, How to be the love you seek
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